Don’t pull faces in the wind….

‘Don’t pull faces, the wind will change and your face will stay like that’… That is a classic saying my Mum use to say to me as a girl when I was growing up, especially if I was screwing up my nose at the smell of something, or in general being obnoxious!!

Whatever it was I was doing, I was expressing an emotion clearly of something I didn’t like… So what happens when you are unable to express what you are thinking or feeling?  What happens internally when you are not allowed to communicate that you don’t like something.  Maybe you are a child that doesn’t understand or know how to express emotions and are always told to be quite, or sent to the room etc.

I have been reading on how our suppressed emotions manifest in the body and will often come out as a physical symptom.  This is called the metaphysical state and many of ‘Louise Hay’ books are based on physical symptom’s and suppressed emotions.  For me I like to look at it as suppressed energy, it’s like when you are happy you have these positive vibes or energy running through you and you have to let them out with a smile or laughter and its positive energy coming out, and we are never told not to laugh or not to let a smile out.  However when we look at Anger, it’s a red energy, its a energy that most of us don’t want to come out so we suppress it, or push it down and we try to say everything is fine on the outside but on the inside you have a red boiling ball of fire that is doing its best to get out, so it’s like you are creating an internal energetic battle.  So the more we suppress this energy the more of a blockage we create, which of cause pressurises and may come out as boils on your skin, as an allergy, behavioural problem or as a physical injury of some sort…As adults we are taught to connect to our breath and to breathe it out, maybe to go for a run and run that bent up energy out or we continue on suppressing and find our body energetic  all out of shape where things just don’t flow as we haven’t  the knowledge or the know-how of expressing these emotions.

What about a child?  What do we do with a child that is confused, frustrated, and does not know how to express what they are feeling.  Maybe they have been involved in an incident at school, and as a parent you were called into the office and told your daughter/son was the cause of this and that, and as a parent you become extremely embarrassed and you go home, growl at the child, and the child doesn’t have a chance to speak about what happened, or they are too scared to tell the truth.  So now you have a child with suppressed emotions, which to some degree is suppressed energy.  And this child starts getting stomach aches, then they start getting colds, boils on their skin, or maybe they start reacting to foods that they eat and get dry and itchy skin.  And of course they don’t want to go back to school because that’s the centre of the problem, and they can’t speak to their parents because they are embarrassed by what has happened so they keep suppressing and hoping it will all go away.

Is this a healthy way for a child to deal with this?  Maybe the child was the initiator of the problem, but should we be asking wider questions?  I know school teachers are trained to observe children, and there are fantastic resources out there for positive parenting.  But what if you take the attitude well it’s done now, that’s it we are not going to speak about this anymore.   Maybe you make the child write an apology letter for their behaviour and that’s it move on.  Well if we keep doing that are we encouraging an environment where a child can safely express themselves? What is the pattern of behaviour and how are we encouraging a positive release of suppressed emotion?

There are many books on children behaviour and food allergies/intolerances and yes I agree that these can certainly influence a child’s behaviour,  but how do you safely allow a child to express the emotion, especially when they don’t understand what it is that they are feeling?  An example is when you observe a child that is two or three having a temper tantrum, they get angry, they let out their raw emotion, as they haven’t the learned behaviour of blocking or suppressing.  And as frustrating as it is for the parent to observe this behaviour the child has been able to express their rage and pretty much get back to being in tune with their balanced energetic self.   However as parent’s a fear is ‘my child will go through life having these tantrums and I am going to be classed as one of these parents with ‘one of those children’ so we start on this cycle of suppressing the child from realising their bent up anger as it is not socially acceptable.  And I agree it is not, socially acceptable,  we can’t have children running around yelling and screaming and throwing themselves on the ground, or hitting people in tantrums. But what I would like to see is the child identifying and knowing what they are feeling,  knowing the energy of the rage and how it manifests within them, taking responsibility for the energy that they are expressing and learning techniques on how to express this safely, learning how to identify and recognise the feeling internally. If a child can identify with the feeling, then they are able to increasingly move past their anger into constructive problem-solving.  The below links are to some sites that encourage the positive expression of emotion and anger release in children.  Maybe if we are all able to express our suppressed emotions/energy then the state of communication issues and chronic illnesses in older life will reduce. Me xx

http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/emotional-intelligence/angry-child

http://childmind.org/article/the-power-of-mindfulness/

http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip4.html

http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/healthiest-ways-express-anger

http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/en/healthaz/familyandpeerrelations/attachmentandemotions/pages/angermanagement.aspx